Anxiety!!

So today was a typical day....soccer with my son this morning, relaxing Saturday afternoon, trip to Trader Joe's, home for dinner, fun at the park with the family........and then cookies and milk for my husband and the boys!!  

So at Trader Joe's, I put the Joe Joe's Cookies in the cart while saying to myself......I can control myself, I know I shouldn't be eating these, I only have 2 weeks left of the get fit challenge, Sean and the boys will eat them!!

I prepare the boys plates with a few cookies, and their milk, sit them down and then I sit on the couch.  "I can do this, I can do this!!"  Yes, that is what I am saying to myself....and the whole time I am shifting back and forth in my seat, crossing and uncrossing my legs, now I am sweating.....no really, I am sweating!!  

Finally I have to get up and go in the other room!!  I felt like I was having an anxiety attack!!  I was so uncomfortable...it was awful.  I couldn't even enjoy some time with my family. 

I came into my office and just cried!!  I felt so out of control!!  And so confused as to why I feel that way!!  

Yesterday we had a baby shower at our Stroller Strides class.  So naturally there was a cake.  I was fine.  Then I walked over and saw the box, and there was a blob of frosting!!  I shouldn't, but I did!!  WHY??  I don't know.  Where is my control??  Why can't I just say no??\

Needless to say, I now know what it feels like to be an addict!!  I want nothing more then to just stop and I can't!!  

It sucks!!!

Love and No Sugar,

Annalise